Self-Love

Have you ever thought about singing to yourself? Not in the creepy bathroom singing way. No, not that. But singing a love song to yourself. Weird right?

So the other day I was listening to Sam Smith, I think the name of the song was “make it to me.” And I realized something very interesting, I was externalizing the emotion. I was thinking about someone else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little bit of fantasy once in a while, maybe a Trey Songs dream cameo…lol.. but what I realized was, every time I would sing about love and emotions I never was the subject. It was always someone else. So one day, after reading a willow smith interview..lol ( I decided to get deep with myself) like to hell with it, I am going to sing to myself. To be honest it was quite weird at first, imagining myself as the subject, well really weird and at one point I thought I would either become crazy or like schizophrenic. But after a while it stuck, it began to make sense. It is okay to love yourself. We live in a world where everyone gives selfishness a bad rap, like it’s a direct ticket to hell. However, I am from a different school of thought –think Aryn Rand (but not as extreme). I think everyone deserves to experience love from their own mind. How do you know how to properly love another person if you can’t love yourself, now I am not talking about lust.. That’s a different story for another day. But ask yourself, do you really appreciate who you are and what you bring into the world. Do you appreciate your existence?

Woman

Woman

Like an albatross that comes in conjunction with the birth of a vagina

Mother-hood is the be and end all of all femininity

It is the final point of full self-actualization for the female race

For whatever we do

We must not do too efficiently

Lest it pushes us away from our societally indoctrinated focal point

So when we work

It is just enough that we are seen as hardworking

But not too much, that we come off as masculine

Or lose any feminine attributes

Because a woman without a husband and children obviously gave up her right to being referred

To as one by choosing such an untraditional path

The life of society rests on our head

So we carry this burden to replenish this same society that mistreats us

Whether or not we really want to

We are women before we are human

So any aspirations and personal goals we feel inclined to run after

Need to wait

Must wait

For they come secondary to our uterus

Vagina supreme

Not so supreme that it has much power over anyone other than the carrier

it serves the role of a lord that anatomically exists within a pauper

This lord governs no land

But as everyone is aware he exists

Society determines the life of this pauper

On the basis of being a powerless lord

But a lord all the same

So we as women, our vaginas exist

Like this lord

Revered but fully judged, controlled and restrained

For it is for our own good

We do not want people to think we are less of lords than we truly are

Even though we are

So vaginas act as our personal town criers

Going ahead of us to inform people of our true nature

Some are able to harness this ‘power’ to their benefit

For others the ‘power’ lost vs. benefit gained is abysmal

Most are on the losing end

I talk about power not because I fully believe in it

But because I understand it has to exist

For every form of oppression there must be some revolting force

Whether mentally or physically

Only the truly broken fully bend over in surrender

So we create or find this power

As our way of fighting back

The concept of the Amazonian woman

One who is able to fully actualize this power comes to mind

But of course society has deemed her manly and brutish

For no woman can truly exist, while reaching her full potential and still be womanly

Now I am not in any way beating on the concept of traditional female roles

If that is what the woman truly wants, then so be it

But my question is

How can we know?

Is this really who you wanted to be when you were five or six, when the world told you could do whatever and be whoever before it changed its mind.

Or have you been beaten into submission

And if it really is who you wanted to be

Do you think that way because it was what you were told you could be

Because yes, we are all broken and indoctrinated in one form or the other

But it makes me wonder how close we all get to our true form,

If that true form exists

Or, if it is another fallacy created by society

to give us some solace in this highly unfair world.

Sabrina Néne Coleman