Overthink

I’m scared about what is happening
I’m falling
I don’t know when this started
But it’s been for a while
I just chose to ignore it
 

Now it clouds my mind
Interferes with my thoughts
Being lucid ceases to be an option
But I kind of want to get lost in this
I want to see where we go
What will happen
If this works out…..

 
I have a hard time letting go
Just gliding with the clouds
I’m not that kind of person
I like to know what happens
Uncertainty makes me nervous
Being spontaneous is not one of my many attributes
I tend to overthink,
Over analyze,
Imagine what could be
Before it even happens
And I fear that this will stop whatever might occur between us
…

I want to trust you
But you are too much of my type
And I know that type all too well
Or maybe I think I do
Maybe this will be different,
Maybe not
The question is whether or not I will let myself find out
 I’m scared I won’t
And then I’ll be left with the nagging question of “what if”

 
It’s like I am at a crossroad
And I can go in a direction I know very well,
One that I usually take

Or…

I can delve into the unknown
Give myself up,
Explore the undiscovered regions of my life
I’m a big believer in fate and destiny
But sometimes we need to determine our own fate
Take charge of our lives
But is it the right time
Here I am again
Overthinking this…..