Continous thought

I'll paint a little picture
Of one of my mistakes
My human mind holds tightly to
the worst I think I've made.

Others exist,
Some you wont believe
But this just takes the cake.

It's about how I lost someone
The only one I ever loved
Because I was too concerned and occupied
With what other people thought.

I could have tried to see it through
But instead I turned my back
Walked away from happiness
And it watched me leave its arms
While I let youth and naivete
Control my every desire.

We rarely ever talk
But I know he has moved on
If wisdom could bring back the past
I'd wisen up the more
.
It's hard to hang with other guys
Because they never compare
So I sell myself short ,
And then feel some remorse
Because to him I'd mean so much more.

Maybe I don't give these guys a chance
My heart has too many shields
Is this a way of punishing myself
For any pain that I made him feel?